Time for some more thinking

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Ok, this post is another thought provoking one (hopefully, anyway) about love and heartbreak. I know that's an odd subject since most here are just looking to get laid, but I was just talking to my sister about love and thought about something kind of funny that I’d never thought of before...

I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic, I'll admit it. I'm realistic, too, though. The general consensus among romantics seems to be that heartbreak is what makes the person you finally love and are with-"the one," if you will-worth it (not to be confused with the idea that going through the bad relationships in life is what makes the final one worth it. Subtle but essential difference). Is it really true, though, that experiencing heartbreak is what makes your final love worthwhile? I really don't think so and will explain why, but welcome hearing alternate views or different reasons for similar views.

First and foremost I must point out that I do recognize the subjectivity of this sort of question, but that’s sort of the point of asking it; to get different perspectives.

Heartbreak, as with every other emotion, has its place in life. Also like very other emotion, letting it get the better of you can break you, as can ignoring it. The best thing to do is learn from it. Learn how to deal with it, and, if possible, avoid it in the future. The surefire way to avoid it would be to not get involved, but I think people who are looking to “not get involved” probably aren’t interested in this topic to begin with.

To say heartbreak is what makes the final love important ignores what makes heartbreak so devastating, which is the fact that in order to get heartbroken you have to have loved to begin with. Love comes before heartbreak. So, how can heartbreak make love worth it if you can have love that's amazing, love that's worth being heartbroken over, without having gone through heartbreak? Love can exist without heartbreak, so is what makes that love not worth it? If heartbreak makes love worth it, then the first love serves no other purpose than being a means to finding a “better” love. It’s no unreasonable, then, to expect that each love should increase the value of the next, thereby making those of us searching, to a certain degree, into masochists; going through painful ordeal after painful ordeal to then enjoy it once we find love that is “worth it.” Pleasure through pain.
If you want to define difference in love as being “better” or “worse” each time then it could turn out that your final love is not as good as the first one-or any for that matter-of the previous, therefore heartbreak failed to make it better. Basically the point is that saying heartbreak makes you appreciate the last love even more is defining love as a constant, which it isn’t.

If it were, where would you draw the line? When do you stop? Does it level off eventually, or does love just get better and better each time you fall? How do you know when it’s leveled off, if it does? If it does just keep getting better and better, then aren’t we just settling once we do find “the one?” Even though saying “heartbreak makes love worth it in the end” is ostensibly optimistic, it’s really a very pessimistic attitude. You either wind up settling or you go through life experiencing love followed by heartbreak followed by love etc. etc. And if you feel that you’re settling, is it really love? Or have you just given up? And what about those who fall in love the first time, break up, live their lives for a while and wind up back with their first love in the end? How could heartbreak make that love worth it when it existed before heartbreak did? The heartbreak in between doesn’t make it worth it, the only possible relation is that the loves in between taught them more about what they wanted in a person, but you can find that out without having to experience heartbreak.
I say that love is its own reward. The first love could be the one that lasts or it could fall apart, but whether it works out or falls apart is irrelevant to the worth of love. The fact that you’ve found someone to love and someone to love you back is worthwhile all by itself.

So, I’m sure some people are wondering “what’s the point in even discussing this?” To them I say if that’s how you feel it’s cool, no one's forcing you to answer or even it read it, really, but I’m curious and want to know what people think. At least I’m doing it on my blog and not in the questions forum.

Once again, I encourage responses from any point of view, as long as you don’t attack anyone else’s point of view. You can disagree, but don’t get abusive.
Thanks for reading.

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A normal, regular, average guy

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To many gay men, I don't know maybe even most, I'm a gay man who doesn't seek out sexual encounters regularly. In fact, my sexual activity with another man often is several months in between.

I'm a single gay man. I don't go to gay bars, I don't look for hook-ups online or on street corners.

I've always considered myself a normal, regular, average guy; but when I compare myself to other gay men (or even men in general) I tend to think that I'm not all that "normal" when it comes to sex.

As a gay man, I've had my moments; mostly immediately following my acknowledgement and acceptance of my sexuality to myself.

The sexual hookup has long since ceased to bring me any comfort or satisfation.

However, I am still a man and now and then I feel certain things. There are times when I want to touch another man, feel him; be touched and felt. Sometimes this urge is so powerful, I tread very closely to making a mistake, a bad decision.

Those are the times when I kind of frighten myself.

There is more to life, more to a relationship than sex. I know that. I desire that; not sex, but if it should happen, a relationship.

I struggle sometimes with sex. Desire and yearning can sometimes be so overpowering. There are times when I feel I may be able to release and give up my integrity for a physical encounter.

I admonish myself for these thoughts and feelings, yet I understand how natural and real they are. As with everything else in life, it's all about CHOICE. Will I choose SEX over WHO I am? It's threatening, but so far, recently, I've not.

Isn't a man's life, even a gay man's life, more than just sex? It has to be. A man, a gay man, has to be more than just a penis seeking to shoot.

Sex cannot rule my life; there are too many other aspects of life to consider and frankly are more important.

In these moments and times, until something real comes along (if it ever does), tissues will have to suffice and/or a condom, makes clean-up easier.

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Why Do Married Dudes?

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It is strange that married men,if you dont agree with their living a lie lives,they will attack your way of thinking,and say your nuts.

Married guys can say whatever they want about me.I am not the one with a so called soulmate wifey anymore.I dont have a blog trying to rationalize my twisted life of shoot and run sex.

If I allow another married dudes life to effect my life again,his business will become my business.I just hope I dont let that happen again.

I am staying out of married dudes blogs.I see no logic in their reasoning

Who wants to read about someones lie of a life?

Not Me!

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Mates Sister in Law

Just thought id share my sexual thoughts with you all. Alittle while ago I met a guy who I consider a mate now and we have a great friendship. During this time we have had a great time in playing with guys and gals and giving them a good time to be played with for our fun and pleasure aswell as theirs.

Recently I met his wifes sister and wasnt surprised that he has been chewing her box for abit now and when he told me I said I knew by the way that they flirted with each other as it was very much clear to me and if others didnt notice they were kinda stupid.

Her name was Bek and she was a little larger gal at 19yo who was very shy about herself and I sensed that she had a low self esteem. She had well and truely loosened up when we went outside to have a smoke and was greeted by her outside where she just grabbed at my mates cock to cop a feel.

He returned the favour and felt her hairyness and wormed his finger into her opening. He told me that she was wet and he took out his finger and put it under my nose to have a sniff.

Mean time her hand was down his pants and finding the cock as she wanted and jerked at it with eagerness. He told her to touch it was and told her to let it free and to get a better feel for it.

She did just that and he then said for her to suck his cock so that I could watch all the fun and told her to take my cock out too and give it the same treatment. Her mouth was great and he had been teaching her well as she did what he was directing her to do.

As good as it was we didnt have a great deal of time so we ended it there with no idea about when or where we were going to do it again. I hope it soon as I want to see her get fucked good by us and maybe afew of the guys on this site too?

Wondering if anything or situations like this occur for others out there in the world too?

My Fantasy

My greatest fantasy involves and older man, he invites me over to his house under the assumption we are too meet and talk only.

I arrive dressed in slacks and a soft cloth shirt buttoned slightly, looking more business personal than sexually active it is my safe guard to protect me, so I tell myself.

The door opens and reveals a taller man maybe six feet. He is well built and groomed nicely as is his salt and pepper hair. I enter into his house and as the door shuts he seizes me in his arms and says, “I like what I see and now I want to take it, any problem with that?”

Of course I smile and as I do he kisses me and I return his kiss as his body presses me to the wall. His hand unbuttons and opens my shirt easily allowing his rugged hands to toy with my nipples which expertly does. Each kiss is followed by playful caresses and my moans.

His mouth moves to encase my right nipple as his hand s drop to remove my slacks and then my briefs. His hand clasp onto my balls and squeezes them as his mouth makes me weaker by the second. He senses my state and remove his own pants and then shows me his cock. My eager hands find it and…

Now I stand holding his hard cock in my hand and as I do I kiss him down from the lips until I kneel and lovingly begin to kiss the tip of his hard cock. His appreciation is heard and with a slow gentle caress of my lips I begin to engulf his cock. When I fully cover the head of it he places his hands behind my head and fondles my hair as I begin to suck his stiff cock. I bob up and down wetting it and tasting it and use my hand to help message it to excite him. It begins to make me even hornier than before suddenly I lose control and thrust up and down wildly on his dick until his pre cum seeps easily into my mouth. That makes me even hotter at that point and I pick up my speed until as his exclamation announces its arrival, his salty warm load explodes in my longing needing mouth.

I drain his cock fully and then worship his balls as I look up in his happy eyes. The stare back at me lets me know he wants more of me and as I am lifted then completely stripped of any clothes that remain, he hoist me over his shoulder like a rag doll and takes me to his bedroom. I am tossed on the bed and as I sprawl on my back, he widens my legs and suddenly seeing my small but hard cock he decides I need a little fun and sinks to suck me. His mouth slips up and down on me until I begin to pant then he stops and forces back my legs as his mouth nibbles and teases my balls.

Then his now re harden cock appears to my sight as he straddles me and ask, “Are you ready for me to convert you fully?”

All I can say is “Fuck me now!”

Cold weather but hot action!

Got lucky again last night! Stopped by the wayside (central Wisconsin) last night and there was only one other car there from Minnesota. I when into the bathroom, sat down on the cold seat and started to play with myself. It wasn't 45 seconds later and the door open and a man kind of peeked over the wall at me. I looked over at the stainless steel wall and could see he was trying to watch me in it. I didn't hear any urine going down the drain so I figured he was there for reasons other than to pretend to pee.

I stood up and peaked over the wall and he was slowly stroking a beautiful almost hard cock. It had to be seven inches and maybe a little more than average thickness but it was beautiful! I walked out of the stall and he met me by the window. He reached over and fondled my balls and I reached over and grabbed his cock. We played with each other for a couple of minutes and I just couldn't resist any more and I took him in my mouth. He tightened right up as I made love to his cock with my mouth. He slid his pants to the floor and spread his legs. I let my hands wander all over his skin, gently massaging his groin, his inner thighs, his balls, reaching through and fondling his ass and his "manpussy". I reached around and grabbed the cheeks of his ass very firmly and pulled him into my mouth deeper. His hands were fondling my head and my face and he reached down and grabbed ahold of my tits. Then, he started to back off and jack off at the same time. I knew he was about ready to cum so I run my hands over his ass and balls and he started to shoot. I dropped back down and started to lick and suck the top and the underside of his cock as his seed dropped to the floor. When the bulk of his load was gone, I couldn't resist and I took his entire cock back into my mouth. He almost screamed with extascy when I did this and actually started to orgasm again in my mouth, his body shaking almost violently. When he was totally spent he pulled his pants back up and then massaged my balls and played with my tits as I jacked off. I was over three feet from the wall and when I finally came, I splattered the wall. This man was wonderful, hopefully I will see him again sometime . . .

Safe sex only, please

I am only into safe sex. That means that even if you just like your dick sucked, I'm gonna put a rubber on it. And same same if you wanna suck me.

I am cautious. I only wanna meet guys that understand, respect that and want that.

What do I enjoy? Good, hot, steamy masturbation. I love to fondle a guy's cock and make him cum for me. Or mutual JO, jacking off ourselves as we watch each other. You are welcome to splatter your semen all over my butt or chest if you please. I'll welcome it!

You can pee on me as well. I love the sensation of a hard, masculine stream of piss splattering upon my body. Butt or chest or on my genitals. I find that just exquisite.... kinda safe sex-pig play.

I like toys in my hole. Dildos and such. Or latex sheathed fingers and I will return the favor. I would love to find a guy to share a double ended dildo with.

I love posing for the camera. I'll bring my camera to a play session with you and take any poses you like. Add your hands, feet, or cock to the pose if you like, that is even hotter. No faces, and I'll send you copies of it all.
I'd be happy to meet a guy who needs photos taken for his profile.

Safe sex only please.

Here's a pic we could make a lot sexier by adding a second person to. Like a guy kneeling at my high heel shod feet, worshipping me.

Moonlight Shining Red

There is an old Indian [Native American] legend about two lovers. One dies & the other is left with his grief. As the brave's remains are slowly consumed by fire on the funeral bier, ashes from burial garments laden of deer skin & eagle feathers slowly drifting thru the buffalo hyde, to the sacred ground below.
Prayers rise to the Great Spirit in the hollow smoke, carried in the wind. The tribal drums grow loud as the sun falls from the sky. Once again the wind carries the mournful cry of the brave left behind, blending with the wolves hawl...they seem to understand.
Our friend, the Moon, opens his eyes so all can see, even when darkness prevails. He hushes the wind & brings rest to troubled souls. He watches over the good spirits & keeps the evil ones at bay.
The Indian brave takes his rest beside the now cold ashes of the one he loved. As quiet covers Mother Earth, the brave slips into slumber. Our Friend the Moon glides slowly across the sacred ground as his beams penetrate the fertile soil. By the light of the moon, there is warmth & a tremor ever so slight, many tears have moistened the earth. The morning dew, said to be lasting tears left by our Friend the Moon, as he is sad to leave but knows he must.
The stars go to sleep one by one as Sister Sun awakens Mother Earth. The brave stirs from his sleep & like an arrow thru his heart, gazes at the scattered ashes of his beloved. Something catches his eye. He moves closer to see. There before him, within the ashes, blooms a red fern.
A sign from the Great Spirit that true love can never be separated.....

"Where the Red Fern Grows".......

Dedicated to my friend...you know who you are & we all love you.

Peace

I watched the movie RENT with my daughters today

My kids have a fairly open mind, especially my oldest who is 15. My oldest dtr just loves the movie and has several of its songs on her Ipod. My children do not know my gay leanings. Not the time yet, if ever. However, we can talk about alternative lifestyles fairly openly. My oldest dtr and I discuss the film, the messages and meanings, and the songs the most. Actually, we have watched it a couple times together. Today was a little different. One of the main characters is Angel, a Hispanic, openly gay man. In the movie, Angel is dying and dies from AIDS...with his male partner being at his side and then grieving the loss. It was one of the first times that I broke down a little bit in tears in front of my children...for I related to the death of Angel and pain felt in his partner, Tom. I had a long time family friend as a teen who came out then, was very open but masculine, and was even in my own wedding party later in our lives. He caught AIDS because he was a player for a long time...until he settled with his true LTR partner. After acquiring AIDS, he relocated to another city...for he did not wish for his family and friends to witness his physical decline. My friend died in another city, not giving out his address to anyone. When Angel dies in the movie and then at the funeral where Tom sings out his grief in the church, It just pulled up and out my old pain...right in front of my kids. I didn't boohoo...but, I did become very teary eyed and choked up to the point that I couldn't speak. My oldest dtr definately noticed me, didn't know what to make of it and asked, "Are you OK, Dad?" After I quickly composed myself, I told my kids that I did have a very good gay friend who did die from AIDS many years ago. And that I regret to this day not being at his side to hold him then, my friend, when I felt I and he needed each other the most. The grief after all these years simply overwhelmed me, choked me up, and surprising me today...for he died in 1994. But, I respected his wishes then, we all did...to die simply in his partner's arms. So, the film had an impact on me in this way today...for it touched me deeply...seeing Angel in his dying and the impact of his loss on others. Being good kids that they are, they respected Dad in his moment of his own personal grief and his explanation. We didn't discuss it all that much further, but continued to enjoy the rest of the film...singing the songs together. I have no doubt that I will be making several posts on this film...my thoughts, my personal feelings, and its impact upon me...for there are many wonderful messages/themes in it. I just had to share this today.

To my buddy who died in 1994....my arms were embracing you today as I shared some of my tears over you. My continued love is out to you, my friend...for I missed you terribly today.

Life is about change

I read in a profile something like: “I can’t change, I’m 42.” Jiminy, you might as well be 102. To me, life is about change. That’s how life evolves, not from perfection, but from imperfection. When you can’t change, you are ready to go six feet under my old friend.

I get quite a number of e-mails: “I wish you lived here.” It just amazes me how unwilling people are to communicate in this day when it is so easy to connect. Don’t people know the average Joe changes jobs every five years. Even if you are certain where you will be in five years, are you so sure I’ll be here forever? I’ve lived in four different countries, not counting a few months in another. And I’ve lived in more than a few states from Alaska to Virginia.

Quitting smoking was probably the hardest change. I quit twenty years ago. Sometimes I think about smoking a cigarette but that is usually a brief reaching for a cigarette! Divorce was more painful than death and I know because I lost four of my siblings.

I am no blogger but here I am, although I might not be blogging tomorrow. Anyway changes aren’t easy but that’s life, and if you find life is easy, well that’s totally incredible (hint: yeah I am not a believer). I don’t know how long I’ll live, and I’m not worried about it either, but today and everyday, I am thinking about becoming a better person.

Before meeting the right one . . .

. . . so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

I like blogs, but...

Most of all I like to read blogs. And gay blogs are the place, where
I can find the reflaction of my thoughts and even dreams. I want to
show you my favorite collection of blog pieces, what made one big
picture of usual gay life.

Hallo to every man

Hi, gays.
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