Time for some more thinking

---

Ok, this post is another thought provoking one (hopefully, anyway) about love and heartbreak. I know that's an odd subject since most here are just looking to get laid, but I was just talking to my sister about love and thought about something kind of funny that I’d never thought of before...

I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic, I'll admit it. I'm realistic, too, though. The general consensus among romantics seems to be that heartbreak is what makes the person you finally love and are with-"the one," if you will-worth it (not to be confused with the idea that going through the bad relationships in life is what makes the final one worth it. Subtle but essential difference). Is it really true, though, that experiencing heartbreak is what makes your final love worthwhile? I really don't think so and will explain why, but welcome hearing alternate views or different reasons for similar views.

First and foremost I must point out that I do recognize the subjectivity of this sort of question, but that’s sort of the point of asking it; to get different perspectives.

Heartbreak, as with every other emotion, has its place in life. Also like very other emotion, letting it get the better of you can break you, as can ignoring it. The best thing to do is learn from it. Learn how to deal with it, and, if possible, avoid it in the future. The surefire way to avoid it would be to not get involved, but I think people who are looking to “not get involved” probably aren’t interested in this topic to begin with.

To say heartbreak is what makes the final love important ignores what makes heartbreak so devastating, which is the fact that in order to get heartbroken you have to have loved to begin with. Love comes before heartbreak. So, how can heartbreak make love worth it if you can have love that's amazing, love that's worth being heartbroken over, without having gone through heartbreak? Love can exist without heartbreak, so is what makes that love not worth it? If heartbreak makes love worth it, then the first love serves no other purpose than being a means to finding a “better” love. It’s no unreasonable, then, to expect that each love should increase the value of the next, thereby making those of us searching, to a certain degree, into masochists; going through painful ordeal after painful ordeal to then enjoy it once we find love that is “worth it.” Pleasure through pain.
If you want to define difference in love as being “better” or “worse” each time then it could turn out that your final love is not as good as the first one-or any for that matter-of the previous, therefore heartbreak failed to make it better. Basically the point is that saying heartbreak makes you appreciate the last love even more is defining love as a constant, which it isn’t.

If it were, where would you draw the line? When do you stop? Does it level off eventually, or does love just get better and better each time you fall? How do you know when it’s leveled off, if it does? If it does just keep getting better and better, then aren’t we just settling once we do find “the one?” Even though saying “heartbreak makes love worth it in the end” is ostensibly optimistic, it’s really a very pessimistic attitude. You either wind up settling or you go through life experiencing love followed by heartbreak followed by love etc. etc. And if you feel that you’re settling, is it really love? Or have you just given up? And what about those who fall in love the first time, break up, live their lives for a while and wind up back with their first love in the end? How could heartbreak make that love worth it when it existed before heartbreak did? The heartbreak in between doesn’t make it worth it, the only possible relation is that the loves in between taught them more about what they wanted in a person, but you can find that out without having to experience heartbreak.
I say that love is its own reward. The first love could be the one that lasts or it could fall apart, but whether it works out or falls apart is irrelevant to the worth of love. The fact that you’ve found someone to love and someone to love you back is worthwhile all by itself.

So, I’m sure some people are wondering “what’s the point in even discussing this?” To them I say if that’s how you feel it’s cool, no one's forcing you to answer or even it read it, really, but I’m curious and want to know what people think. At least I’m doing it on my blog and not in the questions forum.

Once again, I encourage responses from any point of view, as long as you don’t attack anyone else’s point of view. You can disagree, but don’t get abusive.
Thanks for reading.

---

My favorite Blogs:

Meet gay
Gay datings
Single gay
Meet single gay
Single gay personals
Meet gay friend
Gay datings
Meet single gay
Single gay personals
gay lover
single gays
meet single gay